Friendship Friday: | Unwritten

I recently noticed something.

When I spend time alone with a particular girlfriend then she is natural, laughs louder, maybe swears a bit more and is more open about certain aspects of her life. Somehow the behaviour is a more natural reflection of who she is. This is all good. I LOVE when people feel free to express themselves around me and as long as no one is being hurt and they are not being destructive to themselves or anyone else, I am quite OK with it.

However, when I spend time with said girlfriend AND her partner then she?s different. Almost reserved somehow. There is less swearing (because he HATES vulgarity), she doesn?t laugh as loudly (again ? you can?t be common around him and he doesn?t like women who guffaw) and she is WAY more cautious about what she brings to the conversation table so to speak. I can see that she?s actually thinking about what she?s saying. Also, she won?t have a glass of wine because apparently he doesn?t like women who drink.

Initially I took it a bit personally but then I eventually realised that it actually had nothing to do with me and that it was HER issue.

And when I made that observation I started to think about all my female friends who are in relationships, whether they are new relationships or long-term relationships. And I realised that actually ALL of them are different around their respective partners.

Now I am completely fascinated about how the dynamics play out in a friendship when one friend has a new partner in her life. I DO know that relationships with partners/spouses/boyfriends etc can change the dynamics of a friendship. I understand that initially there may be an adjustment period while friends get to know the new partner and ?observe? new partner from a distance. But I?m thinking that at some point things normalise and natural comes back. People become relaxed around one another and the friends and the new partner get used to one another and become more comfortable around them. People eventually realise that they can be themselves.

I? don?t know if this is intentional. Or if it is just the way it is.

I don?t believe that I am different with my girlfriends around my DH. Then again, maybe I am ? depending which girlfriend I am with. When I say different, I don?t mean things like changing the way I laugh or tell a story. I mean different in the sense that there are certain ?girl? things that won?t come up at that moment. OR there are certain conversations that won?t happen.

I am curious though. Have you encountered this with your girlfriends? Do they behave differently around you when their partners are around? Are they somehow more ?reserved? or ?better/differently behaved??

Do YOU behave differently (in a good or a bad way) around your girl friends when your partner/spouse is around?

Do you think that having a partner/being in a relationship automatically changes the way we behave around our friends when our partners are around and is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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